Newly Translated Scroll Claims Duke Has a Fourth Plumlee in Cold Storage
Rumors: Newly Translated Ancient Prophecy Suggests a Fourth Plumlee Has Been “In Development” Beneath Duke Forest for Years
You’ve heard the usual whispers: “anonymous sources,” “mystery five-star,” “Duke’s got a guy,” “he’s 7'3" but moves like a guard,” etc.
What started as fringe message-board mysticism has begun to take on an unsettling coherence. Recent evidence in the Epstein Files confirms multiple reports claim an ancient prophecy has been newly translated and appears to confirm the existence of a Fourth Plumlee.
Born of science and occultism and grown under 10x gravity, shielded from the world until the day he is mature enough to attend Duke.
Origins of the Plumlee Program
Accidentally released in the Epstein Files, the prophecy was described as “gothic” and “surprisingly filled with typos.” After the discovery, a small coalition of classicists, local Durham hobbyists, and a man who claims to be the “Blue Anti-Christ” has independently confirmed the veracity of the claim.
The updated translation references a fourth entity—Plumlee IV—kept from sight “until the pale one learns the language of the Flex screen, spacing, and help-side rotations,” say experts on 1920’s faux-Gothic aesthetics.
Sources: Duke ‘Monitoring’ 7-Foot Prophecy Child Allegedly Raised Under 10x Gravity
A Facility Deep in Duke Forest
Rumors circulating from Duke’s Central Headquarters in Montclare, NJ, and the auxiliary campus in Durham, NC, claim the Fourth Plumlee's DNA was cryogenically frozen years ago inside a hidden factory deep within Duke Forest. The facility is said to be secured by a rotating staff of graduate assistants who tell hikers they’re running a Lemur center. No, really.
Multiple alleged insiders claim Plumlee IV has been living under 10x gravity and deprived of sunlight, an environment designed to strengthen skills, maximize “freakishness,” and achieve a paleness that instills an evolutionary fear.
“A Giant That Stalks the Triangle”
There has been talk of a growing power in the South….
The most persistent detail: reports of a giant presence in short shorts moving through the forest, slapping the ground, and howling.
Locals have described hearing footfalls that don’t match any known animal or mythological beast native to the Piedmont. Sources describe the results as “unnaturally tall with an air of quiet superiority.”
“I heard some whooping, like a guttural wretching,” the source said. “It was… gliding, anticipating my every move… Like it had already watched film on me.”
Scouts Claim ‘The Giant in Short Shorts’ Is Real, Annoyingly Mobile
Plumlee Program Dinner with Coach K and Stephen Miller
The Coach K Angle: Retirement or Reassignment?
Even more fringe reports claim that the year-long retirement victory lap taken by Coach K was actually a reassignment to Research & Development due to COVID-related delays demanding a restructuring of the entire Plumlee Program.
As the owner of MilesMasonMarshalland.com reports, “The clues are impossible to overlook. The Fourth Plumlee is real and coming to Duke. It started with that whole ‘retirement’ charade, so drawn out and public. Even for Mike, it was over-the-top aggrandizement, an obvious false flag.”
“The mainstream media at the New & Observer won’t cover this because the cover-up goes all the way to the top. Anything mentioning Coach K and Stephen Miller’s hands-on role in overseeing the research and development of a Fourth Plumlee has been scrubbed from the internet by the Deep State.”
Sources close to the program say Coach K has leaned fully into his role as the stern-but-loving “Father” of the Plumlee Project, responsible for instilling the Fundamentals of the D.U.K.E. (Dastardly, Uninspiring, Kinda-Lame, Evasive). As the patriarchal North Star, Coach K rigorously upholds foul-shot percentage benchmarks and targets growth spurts.
Even more disquieting is the reported arrival of Stephen Miller (“most likely a clone”) as Head of Maternal Nurturing, responsible for enforcing a strict diet of raw milk and overseeing a complex Cruelty Curriculum designed to stamp out any nascent impulses of empathy. Miller is also known as the “Vibes Compliance Officer.”
Miller (or his clone) has been spotted patrolling the facility with the unnerving calm of a man who’s been laminated, monitoring emotional development with the intensity of a TSA agent in charge of the soft stuff: affirmations, bedtime routines, and the careful administration of rationed praise.
Internal notes not-yet independently verified claim that Duke has been fast at work on: “developing touch without sunlight”; “building motor under dense atmospheric pressure”; “Separating joy from victory”; and “incredulity.”
Scouts Compile Community Report
Scouts, as the community of believers have come to be known, have begun compiling a report:
“FP-4 is the latest iteration in the Plumlee Development Pipeline: a lab-grown, rim-running asset engineered for clean screens, vertical spacing, and a calming presence that suggests it has never once been surprised by anything in its life. Early field trials indicate a high ceiling, low personality.
Height: yes
Classification: CLASSIFIED
Wingspan: more
Skin tone: “fresh printer paper”
Vertical: integrated
Court awareness: allegedly preloaded
Emotional range: mute, mild contempt, calm dominance
FULL REPORT BELOW
